I don’t think some people really understand that parents of newborns aren’t joking when they say their laundry has tripled. How could such a small person add so much to the laundry pile? Their clothes are teeny tiny!
Before I was a parent, I wouldn’t go out in public if there was any food (or unspeakable things) on my clothes. Now I find myself thinking, “Oh, that’s hardly any spit-up at all!”
Newborns generate an amazing amount of urine, poo, and regurgitated milk. Just when you think there couldn’t be any more, there is. And they have some strangely timed smiles that make you wonder how advanced their sense of humor is. “She smiled right before she pooped!” laughed a friend who was holding our daughter for the first time.
They barf, poop, and pee on their clothing, your clothing, your bedding, their bedding, their various baby contraptions (swings, seats, etc.), towels, and on their siblings. Once in a while, they might actually spit up on a burp rag, but these are typically used to wipe up spit up that is on them, you, the floor, your keyboard, and possibly even their brother’s face. You will spend a good amount of time trying to remember how to get the carseat cover back on after you’re pretty much forced to wash it because of the stench.
When you become a parent, you will also curse everyone who decided baby clothes should be pastel instead of mustard yellow. The cuter the outfit, the more you’re asking for disaster. And more laundry. Guess what I’m going to do now? Sleep when the baby sleeps? There are some really cute sayings out there. I don’t live in a tropical environment where we can all go half naked.
Just when you think it couldn’t get more disgusting, they get their first cold. There will now be snot all over all of the aforementioned things. You will be buried in laundry and will have to make judgment calls about when something is gross enough to throw in the washer again.