When I was growing up, St. Patrick’s Day was one of those low pressure holidays. In my family we would wear green, my mom would color the toilet water green, she sometimes made homemade green bread for our sandwiches, and that was about it. We probably had green dinner too.
When my son was in Kindergarten, St. Patrick’s Day was on a Sunday. We don’t shop on Sundays. Suddenly he was asking me, “Where’s my treasure?”
Me: Um, what?
Him: My teacher says the leprechaun brings us a treasure.
Me: (Ugh!!! I have nothing! NOTHING!!!!) Uhhhhhhhhh …….
Him: Yeah, he always brings a treasure.
I love her, but really? Another holiday where we’re expected to give our kids candy? I wasn’t going to go shopping for gold coins, but I also felt like I had to go along with the leprechauns are real thing.
I put green food coloring in the toilet.
“Oh, look! We have one of those naughty leprechauns! It peed in our toilet and didn’t leave us any treasure!” I lied.
Later when he had to go to the bathroom, “I’m afraid the leprechaun will be in there!” Maybe the leprechaun should have brought us vegetables instead?
Since then, all of our kids have asked about their treasure and sometimes I’ve been even too lazy to hunt for the green food coloring. I think it was last year when my second oldest son said, “Pssssst! Do you want me to color the toilet water green for you?”
I do make an effort in other ways. Last year I worked my bum off making Shepherd’s Pie with lamb and everything. It was a ton of work. I’ve decorated the table in fun ways, made green Fettuccine Alfredo, green desserts, etc. I just can’t handle another holiday where a pretend person stealthily brings presents or candy. Our tooth fairy has been in an extended coma because either I don’t have a dollar on me or I can’t get it under my kids’ pillow without waking them up. Another time I put in under their pillow and they didn’t find it!
My 13-year-old has continued to keep track of how much the tooth fairy owes him. Maybe he should send her to collections?
Hope you have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I better restock my green food coloring. We have three toilets now.