Using Self-Checkout

I was standing in line at the store.

Clerk:  Ma’am?  Can I help you over here at self-checkout?

Me:  Um, OK.

I followed her to self-checkout.

Clerk:  Oh.  Did you want me to do it for you?  Some people like to do it themselves.

Me:  I can’t even think right now.  Yes, you may do it for me.

My inner monologue:  If I wanted to do it myself, I would have gone to self-checkout in the first place!

I don’t get the point of self-checkout and I don’t like it.  When I place my things in the bagging area, it’s awkward, stuff falls over, there’s not enough room, and I can’t put the bags in my cart until I’ve paid.

Really, the only reason I would ever want to go through self-checkout is if I were buying something embarrassing.  Speaking of, when you buy something embarrassing and it’s the only thing you need, do you find yourself buying 20 other things you don’t need just to camouflage the Monistat 7 that you desperately need?  I admit it.  I do that.  I’m not sure if it’s more for the clerk’s comfort or mine.  I think I started doing this the first time I bought a pregnancy test (and nothing else).  I’ve always looked young for my age and the clerk just couldn’t help herself.  “Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”  WOW.

I was telling my husband that one of these days, I would like to buy all embarrassing stuff for a laugh and to see the confused looks.

A pregnancy test

Condoms (“What?  Isn’t it too late? She’s buying a pregnancy test!”)

Maxi pads/tampons (“Again, isn’t this person possibly pregnant?”)

Yeast infection medication

Preparation H – multiple forms (Suppositories and the cream)

Basically, anything that makes it look like I have an ailment or tells too much about my personal life.  I would probably do this if I had money to burn, but I don’t.  But it would so be worth the laugh!



4 comments on “Using Self-Checkout

  1. daveloveless says:

    The last time I bought a pregnancy test, it was my online with a friend. We debated holding hands just to see what the cashier would do.

  2. Jeston says:

    Go ahead and do it. After it is all rung up, apologize that you realize that you forgot your wallet and will have to come back later.

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