My Job From Hell

What is the worst job you ever had?  When I was about 19, I walked into a pet store and accepted a dog washing job out of desperation and under the misguided belief that it would be fun.

Pulling their ear hair is not fun.

Clipping their toenails is also not fun.

Being bitten repeatedly is awful.

Having a clean dog you just washed roll around in its own diarrhea repeatedly?  Beyond awful.

But having to do I don’t want to say what to a dog’s unmentionable area?!  NO!  JUST NO!

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The Thing Which Will Not Be Named In This Title

I’ve been working a lot on my YouTube channel and learning a lot, but I was most disturbed to encounter a world I had no idea about simply because I made a playlist called “Messing With Scammers”.  Apparently I need to change the name of this because just having the word “messing” in it caused other videos to be recommended to me that automatically started playing after one of my videos!

I reported one video, then another, and another.  But I couldn’t figure out how to report them without clicking on the videos!  I think that would maybe cause more of them to be recommended to me.  I don’t even know if they are against YouTube’s policies for sure, but it’s sick and wrong.  They are marked as being for adult audiences.  OK, does anyone know a way I could block anything that is for adults?

I don’t really want to draw attention to this, but am beyond livid that people would sexualize anything associated with babies.  Apparently there is a whole underworld of people who are into “diaper messing”.  Grown people who think it’s a turn on to put on a diaper and poop or watch other people do it.  Some of these deranged people wear adult size baby clothing.

That to me sends the message, “Since it’s not legal to abuse babies, let’s just pretend adults are babies.”

What next?  I don’t see how this is OK.  Also, no longer sitting in your own waste is a rite of passage, people!  And having to sit in your own waste again is not a thing to be celebrated.

I’m sick to death of perverts, as usual.  I never wanted to know this existed. I just felt like I should say something in case anyone thinks YouTube is a safe place to surf, especially for their children.

Why I Don’t Talk To My Friends Like I Do To My Kids

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I saw this meme and first felt a deep sense of shame, but then I realized something. My friends don’t do the following to me and if they did, we wouldn’t be friends.

Sit on my couch doing nothing while I’m obviously overwhelmed.

Refuse to help me and then ask for a ride somewhere 5 minutes later.

Kick a hole in the wall.

Pee in the closet.

Spill macaroni and cheese in one of our camping backpacks and leave it there to be discovered two weeks later.

Scribble on my sheet music.

Scream at the top of their lungs because I won’t give them chocolate chips for breakfast.

Refuse to eat the food they asked for.

Tell me dinner is gross.

Tell me my butt is big and real squishy.

Hide my keys.

Take every single card out of my wallet.

Throw their poo.

Throw a tantrum in public. Or at all.

Unwrap all of my feminine hygiene products/stick them to the floor.

Hide my shoes.

Dump cereal everywhere on purpose.

Unravel an entire roll of toilet paper and put it in the sink.

Vomit on the tile floor and not tell me, thus causing me to slide three feet/almost fall to my death.

Talk/yell obsessively about their penis all day, every day.

Leave Legos on the floor.

Put dirty clothes in the dryer. And start it!

Throw last minute projects at me due to poor planning.

Throw food at the painting my mom did for my 30th birthday.

Eat on the couch when I’ve told them not to repeatedly.

Scream bloody murder that their blanket fell off every single night until I put it back on them.

Squeeze an entire bottle of honey on the carpet.

Endanger their lives repeatedly right in front of me.

Throw my husband’s work cell phone into a lake.

Constantly ask for stuff/money.

Throw my bedroom door open while I’m breastfeeding so their (teenage) friend can see the baby.

Blame me for everything bad in their life.

Yell at me for refusing to listen to their excuses for their bad behavior.

Refuse to get dressed.

Lie about brushing their teeth for weeks, going as far as running the water upstairs.

Make me late because their socks feel funny and they’re having a meltdown over it.

 

Children constantly test the boundaries and push our buttons. Some days it can drive you half insane. Friends save you from going completely insane.

The little girl above could say, “Thank you for loving me even though I got into your new mascara and rubbed the wand all over the bathroom sink. I didn’t love the yelling, but it was somewhat understandable.”

As nice as we are to our friends though, we would die for our yelling, screaming, poo throwing children without a thought.

Tell me about something special your children did!