Oscillating Fan For Your Home: A Netflix Original

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Photo cred: Me

 

 

I was doing a search for I don’t remember what when this intriguing title popped up.  I’m happy to see that Netflix has tapped into the “Various Awesome Stuff For Your Home” genre.  Finally!  They have something for people who don’t own oscillating fans!

*WARNING:  SPOILER ALERT!!!  IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE FAN AND WHERE IT SITS BEFORE YOU SEE IT, DO NOT READ ON. *

This isn’t just some cheap old fan.  It has a very nice metallic, shiny base.  What I wasn’t expecting is that upon the same table there would sit a pair of red sunglasses, a stack of books that you probably won’t notice at first, and a glass of ice.  These objects allow your imagination to paint a story.  And here you thought it was just going to be a fan blowing and nothing more.

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Photo cred: Me

At the beginning of the show, the glass is filled to the rim with ice.

 

 

Are they children’s glasses?  Did the family run off to the beach and a child forgot them?  It could be they left the fan on because no one wants to come home to a stagnant house and maybe running the AC is just too expensive.  Or perhaps the owner of the glasses is taking a leisurely nap in that very room?  If so, they don’t snore at all and that impresses me.  I’m pretty sure that’s a night stand.

What had me in suspense was not knowing the temperature of the room.  With this riveting show being only 60 minutes long, would the ice melt completely?  Would it shift suddenly, making it even audibly noticeable with a slight clink?  And who is the antagonist who didn’t put it on a coaster?

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Photo cred: Me

I captured the fan from its good side.  This is towards the end of the show.  Notice how the water level has dropped dramatically in the glass. It happens before your very eyes, yet you don’t know how.  Kind of like Donald Trump becoming the front-runner for the GOP, only it doesn’t make you want to crawl into a hole and die of utter humiliation.

 

This is practically begging for a sequel.  I give it 4 stars.  While I appreciate fans for the white noise they provide, they annoy me when they oscillate and the noise doesn’t remain consistent.  I can’t sleep when a fan is blowing my hair, then not blowing my hair, then blowing my hair again.  It’s like being attacked by some sort of predictable insect repeatedly all night long.  I like the fan itself, the lovely wood blinds, and the lighting.

Bonus:  It is indeed family friendly and doesn’t include any unwanted cleavage like Fuller House.   I think they should make another one where the fan is stationary.  I think a good name would be “Stationary Fan For Your Home”.

You might not even be aware of all of the other titles that were created for families that don’t like to watch shows on their TV’s, but stuff.  Here you go.

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Photo cred: Me

Fuller House: Still Lame After All These Years

When I was growing up, my sister had a crush on “Uncle Jesse” aka John Stamos, so I was often subjected to the awful show that was Full House.  I think it was the bad acting/unfunny jokes/lame storylines that impacted me the most.

But today when I saw “Fuller House” on Netflix, I became morbidly curious.  How would they write Michelle/Mary Kate Olsen/Ashley Olsen out of the script?  I would watch one episode for that reason and to see how old everyone got.

Bob Saget looked the most different to me out of everyone with the exception of the kids who had grown up.  John Stamos and whatever his wife’s name is – they apparently found the fountain of youth.  It was hard to not be filled with bitter envy towards them both.

When they finally addressed the absence of Michelle, they said she was too busy working on her fashion empire and all of them glared at the camera sarcastically.  Now let’s say Mary Kate and Ashley did decide to do the show.  Would they split up the scenes between them like when they were two?  I can imagine that would feel mildly insulting, plus maybe they grew up and decided, “This show is really stupid.   How many times is the audience going to laugh at the line ‘How rude’?”

One thing I noticed was the show was listed on the Netflix kids’ account and is rated TV-G, so I was quite shocked to see Jodie Sweetin sporting some rather over-the-top cleavage.  It was totally unnecessary, not attractive, and I’m pretty sure there was some tape involved.  “OH NO!!!  SHE’S JUMPING!!!” I exclaimed in horror.  “Ohhhhhh ….. Now she’s hugging her male TV relatives.  That’s not weird at all.  The 80’s called and wants their cleavage back.”

Call me a prude, but I draw the line when part of the underboob makes an appearance.  It doesn’t belong on a TV-G show.  Who decided she should wear that?  I think we could all see Jodie Sweetin is all grown up without that.  I want to say though, I think she grew up to be quite beautiful.  I’m just not happy with her wardrobe choices for what’s supposed to be a family show.

That’s all I’m watching.  It was just too painful.  But I thought I would give a warning to anyone who might decide it’s a good idea to watch it with their family.